


A Request of a Friend

by Baroli



Category: Star Trek
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-01 03:09:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 20,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11477370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroli/pseuds/Baroli
Summary: I have always loved Sarek and Amanda.  But I have enjoyed the different aspects of their relationship.  Most people concentrate on their lives, how they met, etc.  I want to concentrate on her dying and making sure her son and her husband are taken care of.  It is a difficult piece to write because you need to get into the mind of a woman who is on the way out, not to mention two men who don't have the concept of grief, the type we are all used to, but Amanda, ever the teacher shows her men how to die with dignity and love in her heart for both of them and her best friend from earth.  She makes a request of all of them, and we shall explore that request.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have always loved Sarek and Amanda. But I have enjoyed the different aspects of their relationship. Most people concentrate on their lives, how they met, etc. I want to concentrate on her dying and making sure her son and her husband are taken care of. It is a difficult piece to write because you need to get into the mind of a woman who is on the way out, not to mention two men who don't have the concept of grief, the type we are all used to, but Amanda, ever the teacher shows her men how to die with dignity and love in her heart for both of them and her best friend from earth. She makes a request of all of them, and we shall explore that request.

She exited the space shuttle with her duffel bag and got into the line for entry into the spaceport of Vulcan. With her itinerary in hand and identification as a starfleet commander, she was processed through at a relatively good speed. She thought perhaps the Vulcans should take over the spaceports on Earth, then maybe,...she spies someone, a Vulcan coming towards her. 

“Dr. Susan Moore?”, asked the gray-haired Vulcan with a ta’al on one hand. 

“Suzanne Moore, and yes, I am,...and you are?”, she continued also with a raised hand in the form of a ta’al. 

“Soren, senior aide to Ambassador Sarek. I will be taking you to his home just outside of Shi Kahr. Is this all your luggage?” He looked at her duffle bag. 

“No, there is one more, although being with Starfleet has taught me to pack light. Ahh, there it is.” Her other piece of luggage came through the luggage port and one of the junior aides that accompanied Soren picked it up as well as took her duffle bag. They quickly exited to a shuttle-port which a large shuttle-craft was waiting to take them to outside Shi Kahr. 

Suzanne knew from her time at Starfleet that Vulcans do not like “small talk,” have always found it to be quite annoying and accomplished nothing,...which was fine for her. She never liked it either, but this senior aide seemed to excel in “small talk.” As a matter of fact, he was quite good at it. From Soren she learned that the Lady Amanda was feeling better these days, although no longer accompanied her husband on ambassadorial missions. She was holding her own,...provided she kept up with the medication regime that she sometimes didn’t wish to take. The healer at the house got her however to take her “meds” as she called them via a drink in the morning that masked the taste of the pulverized medications. They still worked well,...even better in that condition. Amanda thought she was getting a vegetable juice and in a way, she was,...just fortified with meds. Suzanne smiled to herself with that bit of news. She often used the same ploy with her own husband as he succumbed to a rare disease he picked up on a planet that wasn’t in the Federation. The problem with Harold however was long before he contracted that disease. 

In a way, Suzanne thought it was just deserts for him. Oh she loved him fiercely in the beginning of their marriage. Loved being near him, he was so suave, sophisticated, a real starfleet officer, who took care of his wife and then started to take care of other men’s wives. She found out one day through an anonymous comm link sent to her of Harold and woman unknown having a great time in bed. If she wasn’t so angry when she saw it, she would have rated it as 5.0 with a comment “Is that all you got?” and sent it back. Instead she confronted her husband who just said yeah he cheated on her, what is she gonna do about it. He turned around and left her. The house foreclosed, she ended up at the Federation barracks living while she got her life back together. Her father always told her to keep a bank account set-up in her name only,...just in case. And then she found out he was sick, he called out to her, she came and took care of him. Then she found out half the female population of San Francisco was doing the same. When she didn’t show up he called demanding to know why she wasn’t there,...she calmly said to Harold to go to hell, she wasn’t his nurse and to call the next one down on the list. She hung up. Filed with her lawyer for divorce, but her surprise, he died that night. Her lawyer annulled the divorce file,....it was a good thing he did, because Harold never changed his will. He left it all to Suzanne and it was a lot. Instead, she put her house on the market after his burial, she was considered the weeping widow. She almost laughed because the majority there graveside were his “ladies,” except one small petite woman standing next to an incredibly tall and quite attractive Vulcan and realized it was her oldest best friend Amanda Grayson with her husband the Vulcan Ambassador. That was the day, she took up with Amanda while they were still at the Vulcan Embassy in San Fran. It was like old times, two young girls in university, one studying xenolinguistics the other music history and art, then switching majors to psychology. Both Amanda and Sarek took it upon themselves to be a friend to Suzanne, inviting her to diplomatic events, if not to hobnob with Federation folk as Suzanne called them, then interplanetary diplomats and their wives. She never had to tell them what a piece of crap her husband was because he died and sympathy abounded. 

That was a long time ago, Suzanne thought as she looked out a window and saw the shuttle slowing down to a private airfield. Feeling a little queasy, she took her tri-ox compound and shot it into her neck, feeling better almost immediately. 

As much as she loved to travel, this was one trip she didn’t want to make, but her “besty” insisted. She remembered the communication she got from Amanda from Vulcan. She was so in shock to see her best friend in such a rundown state. But she knew that’s what the disease did to her and anyone who contracted it, it sucked the very life out of you leaving you a bag of bones. But then,...this disease latched on to Amanda Grayson. This woman, who was very much like her husband,...once she made up her mind to live,...nothing was going to stop her from doing so, at least that’s what she thought. 

As the shuttle settled down and landed, Suzanne wiped a stray tear out of her eye. It was noticed by Soren and offered her a handkerchief. 

“I understand, Tsai,” Soren whispered to her. “There have been a few stray tears among the staff. I keep these in my pocket,....just in case.” Suzanne looked at her hero Soren and quietly told him “your service honors us.” He nodded in recognition. Getting out of the shuttle, she stopped Soren and asked him the question she was not sure he would answer.

“Soren, how bad is she?” He paused and said. “I,...cannot say. It is not my place.”

“Soren,” a little more forcefully. “How long does she have?” He looked at her with his best Vulcan poker face. 

“Not long, Tsai. She asked you here to share some memories of your youth.”

“How long is “not long?” Suzanne pleaded. He repeated not long. In her mind, it means she may not have days or weeks, but hours. She put her hand up to her mouth and tried very hard to control her emotions, but was having a hard time. She felt an arm around her shoulder and it sending her comfort and control. Suzanne took a deep breath and turned expecting Sarek, but looked up into the soft brown eyes of Captain Spock. He dropped his arm and asked for forgiveness, but he saw she was emotionally compromised and sought to remedy the situation. 

“The cause was sufficient, Captain. I understand. 

“Do you have luggage Dr. Moore?” asked the Captain. 

Soren volunteered “she has packed “starfleet light,” to which Spock raised an eyebrow and quipped at least Soren’s aides will not have back problems requiring the healer after lifting her bags. That brought a smile to Suzanne’s lips. 

“May I ask,...how do you know my mother?” He guided the Doctor towards the side door to go inside. 

“We met in university,she was teaching,...but we became very close after the burial of my lying sack of sh**, oh I’m sorry, I mean my late husband Captain Harold Moore. Captain Spock looked at this woman and raised an eyebrow. 

“I think my mother would not mind your use of profane idiomatic language in describing your late husband,” he said his eyes squinting, looking like he was smiling.

“Probably not, Captain. It’s just even now, when I think about him and what he did, even when he was sick,....” she shakes her head, “I sometimes think I was very naive. Who does that?” Suzanne looked at Spock and started to giggle. “Sorry, Captain. You engender trust and compassion.” He nodded in acknowledgement and then paused to allow the doctor to come into his planetary home. 

All at once, a voice a little hoarse but still strong “Spock? Is that you? Have you brought Dr. Moore with you?” Dr. Moore held up her hand and then said in the direction of the hall, “I’m just the maid, come to change the sheets.” They both heard the most delightful tinkling laughter coming from the downstairs bedroom and Amanda saying that Suzanne better be the bed changer because her laughter may be causing a flood.

“Oh God, Amanda are you ok?” Suzanne ran into the bedroom to find Amanda nestled very comfortably in her chaise, laughing with her eyes sparkling, like they did in days gone by. Then she started to become short of breath and immediately pointed to her O2 cannula, Suzanne slipped it over her ears and put it in her nose so she could have the O2. Suzanne took a quick assessment of her dear friend and saw a woman who was tired and rundown, who just got a boost of love and laughter. Then that is what she will do, keep her laughing and talk about the silly stuff that happened to them. She hugged her friend and then brought a chair over to her chaise so that she might sit close to her. 

“That’s exactly what Sarek does when he is home. He will not leave my side,...unless he’s called by the Federation or Vulcan. But he is en route home as we speak and is taking a leave of absence to work at home and be with me. I only wish I could give him what he really needs,...” Suzanne knew what she was talking about,...sex. 

“Sometimes just holding someone’s hand and being there is okay.” Amanda just looked at her friend and said, “Not with Vulcans. I’ll say no more.” 

“Oh,” said Suzette. “Let’s not go there.” She was watching Amanda as her face for a brief second winced in pain and just as quickly smoothed out her face to one of serenity. “Are you in pain?” Suzanne asked softly. Amanda nodded her head and said to give her the pain pill and she won’t get knocked out. She wanted to be awake for Sarek. Suzanne gave her the pill and some warm water to which she swallowed it down. Right then, Spock came in with a fresh supply of cold iced water. Setting it down, he said to Suzanne, “Our water is your water.” He poured her a glass of water to which she sipped slowly and shut her eyes,...it tasted great. He then poured a glass for his mother and she gratefully accepted and sipped slowly. 

“Do you need anything more, Mother, Dr. Moore?” They both said no and Spock left the room. Suzanne couldn’t get over Amanda’s pride in her son, it showed in her eyes.

“What do you think of my son?” asked Amanda. 

“He’s polite, kind, tall, has beautiful brown eyes, engenders a lot of trust and compassion, he takes very good care of his mother, and one can usually tell how a man will be with his wife, by the way he interacts with his mother. Why he isn’t bonded yet, I don’t know,....he has very close male friends, like brothers I would assume that would be Admiral Kirk and Dr. McCoy. But I think there’s someone else in the wings he's waiting to show you, a woman.”

“How do you know all this? How do you read him,” Amanda was very curious. Her friend smiled and laughed. She explained.

“I’m very observant, but that’s all I can tell you. I love you Amanda, but your son’s gonna have to come the rest of the way.”


	2. Chapter 2

The Ambassador of the Federation was sitting in his cabin, rereading the trade agreements just procured from a new entry into the Federation. It was a flawless mission and he was glad to be done with it. His staff performed satisfactorily, including Dr. Christine Chapel, who hopped a ride with the Ambassador to meet up with his son, Spock. They had some business to complete, a bonding ceremony to be performed at their home, so Amanda could see. It would be a total surprise to his beloved wife, as their wedding anniversary was coming up, perhaps an early gift. He also allowed Amanda’s friend Suzanne to come to visit on Vulcan to renew their friendship and because Amanda wanted to ask her a request. 

He put down the PADD he was reading and looked out the window to the orange planet of his home. Thinking of what awaited him at his home he sighed heavily, not with satisfaction, but with weariness. He wanted to be with his wife for what little time she had left. He wanted to taste her sweet body again in joining with her and to know her love once more in her mind, but,....he knew it was nearly impossible. She was wracked with pain with the disease slowly chipping away at her soul. Her soul. It is a pity that humans do not have a katra. He was grateful his son did and successfully accomplished the refusion of katra and body. Amanda was still walking then. 

Dr. Christine Chapel watched her soon to be father-in-law as he gazed absentmindedly out the window of the Embassy ship. He asked her to accompany him on this mission, knowing she would organize everything the way he wanted it. She was an incredible asset to him and will be to his son as he follows him into diplomatic service. They were both of like minds, a very good match. 

“Everything to your satisfaction, Ambassador?” she asked him. He turned and much like Spock his eyes crinkled into what most people thought was a smile. His mouth fashioned a slight half smile at the sight of his daughter. 

“You must learn to call me Father, Christine,...or perhaps Sarek when with family.” 

“Details, details,” remarked Christine sitting down opposite him. “How about I call you Sarek with family?” He nodded his head in the affirmative and then saw the ship going into a stationary orbit near ShKahr. 

“We are home,” he said with not much happiness in his voice. He then looked at Christine and asked  
“Do you know our other visitor at the estate, Dr. Suzanne Moore?”

“I know of her, read some of her papers which I have to say are brilliant. I know Betazed tried to get her to teach on their planet, but she preferred to stay on earth. I know she’s intelligent, has a wicked sense of humor, and is a dear dear friend of Amanda.” 

“That she is and was at one time married to a Captain Harold Moore.”

“Ooohh, the handyman.” Sarek looked at Christine not understanding and then understanding all too well. 

“No wonder she was so unhappy,...” broke off Sarek. He sighed and began to gather up his PADDs. “It is a terrible thing to have a mate who does not care anything for you except for his own pleasure,” he said softly. He looked over at Christine who was also gathering his PADDs and said to her, “That is one thing you will never experience with Spock, Christine. He cares for you deeply and will never under any circumstance leave you.”

“He better not,” said Christine with a grin on her face. “Or there will be consequences.” The ambassador replied he didn’t doubt that. The rest of his aides would gather what remaining notes there were as the two of them beamed down to the house. Sarek looked around at his home, feeling the evening air with a cooling breeze and noticing the sunset was extremely colorful this time around. He also noticed someone on the balcony by the guest room staring out to the sky, looking at the sunset. For a minute, he thought it was Amanda, but saw the person there was taller than his wife. He surmised that Dr. Moore had arrived. He sighed and opened the door and stepped in, to be greeted by his son, who took the PADDs from him and quietly said Mother is asking for you. 

He strode purposely down the hall to Amanda’s room and saw his wife in a different position writing something and singing a little tune to herself. As he watched his wife fold the piece of paper and put it into an envelope and sealed it, she looked up and immediately her eyes sparkled. She missed her husband and she told Suzanne that earlier. Suzanne thought for a minute and then said “he’s coming now isn’t he.” Amanda smiled and said yes, and if Suzanne didn’t mind she would like to see him alone. Suzanne leaned over and kissed her friend on the forehead and said maybe staff could show her to her room and she could have a lie down. But Amanda called for Spock who came in and said to show Suzanne to her room and she suggested to her friend to go out on the balcony and watch the sunset. 

As Suzanne followed Spock, he mentioned to her that the sunset from that balcony is aesthetically pleasing to the eye. 

“I’m sure it will be, Spock.”

“Did you bring clothing that is more suited to this dry temperature, Doctor.” She stopped at the doorway of the guest suite and chuckled.

“Your mother briefed me on what to bring, even what colors to wear. I never knew her to like the colors she suggested, but,...there you are. If you will excuse me I am going to change and watch the sunset.” He nodded his head and said that they would be eating end meal in about an hour. Suzanne closed the door and saw that her luggage had already been unpacked. She chose an outfit, typical of Vulcan women and put that on as well as take her tri-ox shot. Then she put on the shawl around her head, opened the door to the balcony and stepped out onto the balcony. Suzanne was amazed at what she saw, the colorful hues of an orange sky with accents of yellow, rose, sandalwood, purple and reds. An occasional rumble from a far away volcano. Such a mysterious planet, Vulcan. She happened to look down and see the ambassador and his party coming back to the house and noticed he looked up. //Probably thought it was his wife for a split second// she thought. Suzanne thought he looked tired. She stayed in her room until one of the staff got her for dinner.

She felt her husband enter the home and made his way to the end of the hallway to her room. She had just finished writing a letter, folded it and stuffed it into an envelope and sealed it. Then she looked up and smiled her best smile to Sarek who opened the bond to touch her mind. This time she received him.

//Beloved//, Amanda said with a smile. //It is good to feel you in my mind again. I have missed thee.//

//Amanda,...I cherish thee. I have longed to be in your mind to give you strength and love.//

//Love, my husband?// He crossed the room, sat down on her chaise and very tenderly and carefully took her into his arms. He didn’t hug or squeeze, he just held her and kissed her neck and face. She smiled and pushed back to look at her husband to notice his eyes being just a little misty.

“I cannot have my Vulcan husband shedding tears for me,...that is not logical.” 

“My wife, where you are concerned,....a private moment of great satisfaction to hold you in my arms brought a tear to my eye,....but if it offends you Beloved, I will not hold you again.”

“Of course not Sarek,” she said as she softly kissed him on the cheek and smiled softly at him. “I am gratified you still want to hold me.” 

“Amanda,...I will always wish to hold you.”

“Even after I’m gone?” Sarek looked at his wife and drew her close to him again. He could feel her labor with breathing. 

//Why did she always bring up the inevitable when I want to protect her and take care of her// He laid her back on the chaise and put her cannula on while comforting her through the bond. 

“Have you seen Suzanne yet?” she asked slowly regaining her breath. 

“Briefly,... she was standing on the balcony, no doubt watching the sunset. It was particularly beautiful tonight.”

“Sarek, I would like to have end-meal at the family table tonight.”

“Are you sure, k’diwa?”

“Would I have asked if I wasn’t feeling well?” She smiled at Sarek and stroked his face. “Carry me out to my seat and then ask Suzanne to join us. I don’t want her to see me carried.”

“As you wish, Beloved.”


	3. Chapter 3

The Ambassador effortlessly gathered his wife up into his arms and carried her to the dinner table and set her down at her seat opposite him at the table. After getting Amanda as comfortable as possible, he then called for Spock and Christine to come to the dinner table as well as Dr. Moore, who came down the stairs slowly. As she came down, her presence caught the eye of the Ambassador. He stopped for a moment, looking at this woman descending the stairway. She reminded him of a younger Amanda making her entrance at the Embassy on earth. Amanda was such a formidable woman back then. He wondered who taught who the finer arts of making an entrance. He quickly dismissed it from his mind. 

“Greetings Dr. Moore,” said Sarek “I trust you found the sunset pleasing to the eye?” She nodded her head and removed her shawl that was on her head, revealing her long dark brown hair. It became a lovely color contrast to the deep blue/green color of her gown. 

“The music of Rimsky-Korsakov and “Sheherazade” came to my mind as well as “The Song of India.” I kept imagining desert guards walking on various plateaus, walking and keeping watch.” She chuckled to herself, “I’m a bit of a romantic, I fear.” Sarek nodded his head and showed Suzanne to her seat, which was on the opposite side of the table facing Amanda and sitting next to Christine, who was sitting across from Spock. 

Suzanne noticed the tradition in who sat where along the dinner table. Sarek being at the head followed by his wife, followed by his son and on the other side were herself and Christine. They were all surprised to see Amanda at the dinner table, but Amanda was delighted to be with her little family and her friend. Their meals were served by staff and in order to get Amanda to eat, end-meal silence was put aside and lively conversation ensued. 

“Suzanne I am surprised you got time away from your practice on earth. How did you manage it, my dear?” asked Amanda as she pushed her food around the plate, making it look like she was eating. 

“I’ll tell you what,” said Suzanne putting down her fork. “I will tell you a fact about me, for every forkful of the vegetable casserole you put in your mouth, chew appropriately and swallow. Do we have a deal?”

Amanda looked at her friend and then at the rest of the table who also stopped eating. “My husband I am being blackmailed into eating.”

“Indeed Amanda, I do not see it as blackmail as an negotiation to a better sense of being for you.”

“Correct Ambassador, and now Amanda, do we have a deal? I need to see 5 good sized forkfuls of this delicious vegetable casserole go into your mouth chewed and swallowed before I tell you any salacious information about my person,” she said teasing her best friend. 

With a grumpy look at the entire table, she nodded yes and took a good sized forkful and put it into her mouth and chewed and then as she swallowed and took in some water to help the food go down she looked at Suzanne and said “Well?”

“I gave up my practice 10 years ago, to pursue something that I’ve enjoyed doing most of my life.”

“What is that? I thought you loved being a practicing “Counsellor” is what they call them now I guess.”

“I did and still do,...but I found something I loved more,....another forkful if you please madame.” This time Amanda took another forkful without complaint, chewed and swallowed and waited for Suzanne next fact. 

“I have been teaching at the Academy for 10 years now. Although not directly at the Academy where the liberal arts, humanities etc reside. I teach at Command School.”

“I have not seen you at Command School, where are you located?” asked Captain Spock. Suzanne saw Amanda take another good forkful and continued to listen to her friend explain to her son.

“I am two doors down in what was a small lab that I had converted to a classroom and discussion room. I explain after the test why there is no solution for the Kobiachi Maru and what it is for to begin with,...to access the cadets ability to react to a stress situation. Although I understand your friend Jim Kirk manipulated the test so that there could be a solution in his days at the Academy and was given special accommodation for “original thinking.”

“You did not like this?” asked Spock getting a little irritated that his friend’s results would be questioned.

“Oh no, not at all, Spock. I studied his results and his “solution.” It definitely had original thinking, which is what you sometimes need in situations that a starship Captain comes up against. I have to say, I’ve never captained a ship, but do understand the mind. Kirk, showed remarkable maturity for his solution and courage for going up against the Academy swells. I told him that just the other week when I was having dinner with Kirk and McCoy. The doctor keeps trying to seduce me back to the dark side and head up Psychology at Starfleet Medical, but,...I’m not interested. It’s more fun to be out in the light, helping others,....and my goodness you have taken 6 forkfuls of food, Amanda. I am impressed.” Indeed, they were all impressed that anyone got Amanda to eat much less not push her food around the plate. But Suzanne knew one thing they didn’t. Amanda liked to be in the know about her friends and what they were up to. Suzanne, by her calculations had enough information to keep Amanda eating for decades. She smiled at her friend who finished her water and then said quietly to Sarek that she was growing tired. Everyone got up and moved into the living area, allowing Sarek and Amanda the privacy of carrying her to her bedroom. They all knew what Sarek was doing, but Amanda liked to have the illusion she was fooling them. Suzanne remarked that if she had a husband who was as kind and handsome and able to pick her up, she would be carried everywhere. Spock lifted his eyebrow and then immediately understood there was no insult in the remark, in fact it was just an observation.

Suzanne turned to Spock and Christine sensing a little misunderstanding spoke to them in confidence.

“In truth, Spock, Christine, it is very odd that I am even here. Your mother insisted that I come as we have not seen each other since your father and she came back to Vulcan. We’ve communicated but of course it’s not the same. I’m extremely worried about her as I’m sure you are. But this isn’t Amanda, she lives for life, for her husband and family. Perhaps it is the medication that has altered her slightly, or the disease itself, but it is not her true self and that is what bothers me.” She turned away from them and then sighed heavily. 

“It’s probably nothing, just me adjusting to this planet and its gravity. I think I will go up early tonight.” She made the ta’al and wished them peace and long life and slowly made her way to her room, where she once again went out to the balcony to sample the Vulcan night air. Once there she couldn’t help but hear someone who was trying desperately to stifle their crying. She looked along the balcony, which wrapped around the house and saw another figure in what she supposed the master bedroom. She could only suppose it was Sarek who, in a private moment allowed himself the luxury of feeling and as she judged, the floodgate opened. Her heart went out to this man who defied his planet, his family his own logic to be with this woman that he loved. And now, his heart and soul was breaking. Was this what Amanda had hinted at in her communication with her to come? To be here to help pick up the pieces of an extremely wounded man when she finally passed? No, that couldn’t be it. Vulcans were notoriously strong and had great strength of character. No, something else. Perhaps it was his reproductive cycle starting to kick in. Ponn Farr could be a vicious mistress. If he left the next morning, perhaps that was the problem, or he is honestly grieving. She saw another person come out to the balcony and heard a male voice say “Father.” No doubt Spock trying to comfort his father. 

“This was not supposed to happen until much later. I must leave and go to the caves. I have made my own arrangements. I have shut down the bond so that your mother will not feel. After what she suggested to me, I know I must go.” Spock looked at his father with concern asked what Amanda suggested to him. Sarek turned to him and said “She had 3 wishes on her bucket list, 1 was to see you bonded to someone you cared for. That I told her will be accomplished in 2 solar days,...I told her about our surprise. She wept. I asked her what were her other two wishes.” Sarek paused and sighed.

“Her other two wishes were combined in that she wanted me to take her best friend as my new bondmate and for her to love me as much as she does. She went on to say that she is going downhill quickly that she can feel her body slowly die away,...as I can. It has triggered this Ponn Farr before my time. I had already made arrangements and now I must leave. I will be back hopefully in time for your ceremony,” Sarek hastily got things together to leave and Spock just stood there with his hands behind his back. “I am sorry my son I have made you a confidant. That was not my intention.”

“The cause was sufficient and most logical. Who else would you have told,...Christine,....Suzanne?” At the mention of Suzanne, Sarek paused and smelled the air. He shut his eyes and continued to inhale. 

“Your mother is very clever. She engineered this, knowing it would be hard for me to leave her and planting the other idea in my mind that is being slowly stripped of its logic,...” He looked at Spock with panic in his eyes and then thoughts of pinning Dr. Moore to the wall and ripping that gown off of her and taking her. “It is not the thought that abhors me, Spock it is the fact that Amanda is still alive. Her argument was that it is no different than the Raldai, and I said,...he smelled the air again. Sarek was starting to breathe heavily. She is on the balcony. I smell her and she is pleasing to me. Spock transport me please, if you do not I will come after her and take her right there on the balcony wall. It has been so long,...so long.” Spock go out his comm unit and requested sight to sight transport of Ambassador Sarek to the cave of the Raldai for personal reasons.

“As he faded with transport he said Thank you to his son.” 

“SPOCK!!” It was Amanda and she was mad. He knew he had to appease his mother,...how he was going to do that,...as he made his way downstairs he though to just improvise, something he has much experience in doing.

“Yes Mother, you called?”

“Don’t you called me,....Spock I had everything planned out and it would have worked. Your father would have gone to Suzanne and all would be well.”

“And did you inform Dr. Moore of your plan?” he asked casually. 

“Informed me of what?” Dr. Moore had heard some of the conversation up on the balcony between Sarek and Spock, but not everything. 

“Go ahead Mother. After all, she is your best friend.” He left the room leaving his mother to explain. He of course was just within earshot,...just in case tempers flared. 

“I think you need to explain to me,” said Suzanne. Amanda shifted uncomfortably in her chaise, but remained defiant.

“All I wanted was for you to be happy. I wanted Sarek to consider you for his new bondmate.”

“While you are still alive? Amanda,....what were you thinking?” 

“I was thinking that if he took you I would be out of the way. He would secure his life, he could live his life again and not be straddled with a sick wife, who can’t provide anything to him.” Suzanne sat down and put her psychologist's cap on.

“I don’t think you quite understand something and perhaps it is his Ponn Farr which is affecting you. By having him take a new bondmate, while you’re still alive is committing suicide and possibly murder if he could not take the new bond. Amanda,...suicide,....really?” Spock came back in as he heard his mother crying. 

“I wanted you both to be happy. With me out of the way, it would be possible. I’m old, I’m sick and I’m extremely tired of fighting this. I want you all to be happy.” 

“And you thought that committing suicide by bond would be the answer?” Amanda was now in full mode ugly cry. Suzanne became the doctor and put her arms around her friend, didn’t hug her just held her and sighed. 

“Spock, do you think we could have some tea? Would you like some tea Amanda?” asked her friend. Amanda nodded her head. She slowly got over her crying and started to dry her eyes with handkerchiefs. Spock had tea brought by the staff. Christine came in and told Spock to go make sure his father was alright. 

And so it went on all night long. The ladies told stories had a lot of laughter some more tears, but most of all Suzanne and Christine helped their friend and mother-in-law to accept her life as it is and to make the most of it. At one point, Amanda gave Suzanne an envelope and asked that she didn’t open it until after she was gone. Both Christine and Suzanne saw Amanda slowing down; she was tired. It was what they hoped for. Slowly Amanda drifted off to sleep. Because of her mindset, they decided to keep her pain meds at a safe distance, along with the other meds she took. They took the best care of her that they could and on the third day, Sarek returned, a little less feverish, but it had broken, Ponn Farr was on the way out and his logic was returning. 

He knocked on the guest suite door and heard a “Come in please.” 

“It is I, Sarek.” 

Suzanne opened the door and smiled motioned for him to come in. “What can I do for you, Sarek,” she asked and then wished she hadn’t quite put it that way. 

“Do not be worried. I am quite myself again.”

“I’m happy to hear that Sarek. After what Amanda told me, I didn’t know how you would react to me still being here.” 

“It is I who should ask forgiveness. I had thoughts of you that were not for a married man.” Suzanne raised an eyebrow and smiled a little smile. It would prove her undoing. 

“For being an honest man, that’s the best compliment I’ve received in a long time. You weren’t yourself Sarek, there’s nothing to forgive.” Sarek wasn’t listening he was enjoying her scent, her musk and once again a small fire started in his mind. He shut off the bond. 

“Did you find the offer to become my next mate abhorrent?” 

“No, I didn’t find it abhorrent at all,....it was the suicide and possible murder of yourself that I found abhorrent. My friend wished to “get herself out of the way” for the sake of her mate's life. As much as I abhor what she wanted to do, she does it out of love for you Sarek, so that you would continue to live. That is the most unselfish act I have ever witnessed. But I cannot allow it, not while she still breathes this air.”

He nodded his head and then crossed the room and was in front of her, invading her space, looking her straight in the eye. He reached up and touched her hair and sniffed it, closed his eyes in pure enjoyment. Suzanne was a little frightened but she knew he would not hurt her, it is still to close to his time and he is, or perhaps Amanda was prolonging it through the bond. His one hand grabbed her waist and pulled her to him. She gasped. He started to touch her face, his two fingers going down the side of her face, she couldn’t move. He looked at her as if for the first time and realized what he was initiating and closed his eyes. 

“Forgive me,” he said and abruptly left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

As Sarek slid his two fingers down the side of her face locating her psy points, he felt that he was being directed by someone else to initiate a meld. His dark eyes looked into the hazel eyes of this woman and felt a longing to be one with her in mind and body, such that he has never felt before. He shook himself mentally before he could initiate the meld and realized Suzanne was so close to him and her hair smelled of a scent he enjoyed, a scent of sandalwood, much like his meditation herbs and spices. He backed away, said “forgive me” and left the room. He strode with purpose to Amanda and barged in as she put down her hairbrush and looked up at her husband. She smiled at him and whatever he felt at the moment sailed away with her smile and her beautiful crystal blue eyes. 

“Amanda,” he said as he sat down next to her on the chaise. His eye crinkled up and his mouth reverted to his half smile. “Why do you put me in difficult situations?”

“I’m sorry, Beloved,” she replied. “I needed to know if you and Suzanne could be compatible towards each other and you can.”

“Amanda, I am not going to bond with her while you are still alive. You are my wife, the only wife I want. You remind me of my mother when she was alive. Remember how much she liked you? Remember what we went through when no one on this planet or yours for that matter wanted a bi-racial marriage? I will not forsake you because you are in-firmed beloved. It would not be logical.” Sarek brushed her hair away from her face, tilted her face up and kissed her the way she enjoyed. He broke the kiss and saw his wife tear up. She then started to cough and was having a hard time breathing. He quickly put her O2 cannula on her. She chuckled as she tried to gain back her breath. 

“We mustn’t be late for our son’s bonding ceremony. I do believe T’Pau is here and she’s talking to Suzanne.” 

Sarek quickly gathered his wife into his arms and carried her to her comfortable chair in the living area. As he made her comfortable Suzanne stepped into the room,...she was a bit aggravated by T’Pau’s interrogation of her. 

//How dare she ask personal questions of that nature to me? What the hell is going on?// Sarek picked up on her thoughts and after making sure Amanda was alright he sought out Suzanne, who he almost ran into.

“Suzanne,...a word please.” He grabbed her and led her to a private area in his home. “What has happened, what has T’Pau asked of thee?”

“Sarek she wanted to know if I was going to bond with you as well and thus put Amanda out of her misery. What the hell is that about? Commit murder? For your sake?? This has gone too far! I am sorry to put you in a difficult situation, but Amanda is my friend and would not do her harm anymore than you would.” Sarek’s mind was now fully engaged. His logic was back and he in a perfect mask of serenity was going to look for her psy points, but instead took her hand and enclosed it in his and then covered it with his other hand. He closed his eyes and then spoke to her.

//Suzanne,...my aunt is from a different generation. That is what Vulcans did in order to preserve and secure the male’s life, when his mate got too old or too sick to continue. You being here to T’Pau made perfect logical sense. She meant no offense,....I meant no offense earlier. Over the years Amanda has gotten strong and picked up a few tricks along the way, for example prolonging the plak tow just long enough for me and for you to feel the longing to become one in body and mind. It is the Vulcan way. I regret you having been exposed to something you don’t quite understand.// She looked at Sarek as he relinquished her hand. Her eyes filled up with tears.

“It must be very hard for you. I think I should leave so that you and Amanda can spend her time wisely, instead of using what energy she has to try and get you to bond with me or to get me to like the idea.”

“You,...do not like the idea?” Now it was Sarek who did not understand. 

“It’s not the idea itself, Sarek” she paused and touched his face and then removed her hand quickly. “I am very flattered,....but you are still married to Amanda. It’s just not a good idea right now and I’m not sure if it ever will be. Now this is supposed to be a day of celebration, your son is being bonded to the woman he wants with him. Let’s enjoy that and celebrate part of Amanda’s bucket list. And please,...can we still be friends?” She had no idea why she asked him that. Friendship is something Vulcan’s have enjoyed over the years,...in their own particular way. He looked into her hazel eyes and noticed they had flecks of green in them. //So beautiful,// he thought and he said “we have never stopped being friends.” He led her into the room and she sat down next to Amanda who patted her hand and said to Suzanne. 

“I’m sorry about all this nonsense I seem to be creating. It wasn’t meant to hurt you or Sarek. I just want my husband to be happy and live and I wanted my friend to have something wonderful and meaningful in her life besides her work. This is how Sarek’s family treated me,...with hardly any respect. I was quomi, that’s Vulcan slang for human. You are not that to me and never have been. I am getting weaker my darling and my days are numbered.” Amanda sighed. “Don’t give T’Pau a second thought. She likes to stir the pot sometimes and does a very good job of it. But look at my handsome son and his beautiful bondmate. If you’ve never seen this ceremony, it is quite lovely and romantic. Most outworlders haven’t, but you are like a sister to me,...sit and watch.” Amanda grabbed her hand and held it throughout the ceremony. Sarek was on her other side of her, sitting behind her and she and he shared the ozh’esta. 

The ceremony itself was short and sweet. Both Spock and Christine knelt down in front of T’Pau who said the ancient words. They became bonded through their psy points as one put their hands on each other’s points. They both said the ancient words together and then said vows much like a human marriage ceremony. But it was T’Pau who with her guiding mind wove what Christine felt was like a needle and thread through her mind and Spock’s and bound them together. Suzanne at one point could see this happening in her mind’s eye as she shut her eyes. //What a beautiful display of love, honor and respect. What a noble race the Vulcan’s are.// She opened her eyes and felt her tears on her face and Amanda sneaking a handkerchief to her, but what she felt was Sarek’s eyes on her watching her. She didn’t look at him, she looked straight ahead at the now bonded and married couple. They stood up and shared the ozh’esta. Amanda was just so happy for her son who finally found the one for himself. Christine was happy as she found Spock to be just about everything she ever dreamed of. T’Pau beat a hasty retreat citing some problems to be dealt with at the High Council, but wished everyone well. Her eyes dwelled on Suzanne, as if assessing her and then looked at her nephew first born. She nodded her head ever so slightly as if she knew what secret plan was being hatched and she left. 

At the dinner table, Christine now sat along side of Spock as that signified they were a married couple. Suzanne was the only unbonded woman there. But Sarek asked his longtime friend Soren and his wife to sit at their table for dinner, which they graciously accepted. As she sat down opposite Amanda, she noticed her seat was a little bit closer to Sarek’s. Suzanne did not like the implication and for once neither did Amanda. She looked at Sarek and then at Suzanne and a scowl formed on her face. She decided to attack the problem head on. 

“Amanda, before we start, I would like to move down a tad. It seems I’m crowding your husband and being left-handed well,...I don’t know I could eat off his plate. Amanda looked for a minute and then her whole face relaxed. 

“Good heavens, I don’t know who did that. Probably someone who thought you are my sister.”

“Do we look alike?”

“No, but,....” Amanda started to have short of breath. She clutched at her chest and Suzanne looked at Christine who took charge and called for the healer to come. Sarek immediately knelt at his wife’s side calling softly to her “Amanda? Can you hear me? Amanda?” Suzanne turned away from the poignant scene. She knew Amanda had suffered some sort of heart attack. But what she couldn’t bear was Sarek calling to his mate. Her heart was breaking for both of them. 

The healer, after listening to Amanda’s heart and taking readings, looked at Sarek and Spock and shook his head in the negative. Their medical doctor from the medical center in Shi Kahr transported in and examined Amanda and was also pessimistic. Amanda had for the past two days neglected to keep up with her medication schedule and this time the result was deadly. They think as doctors Chapel, Moore, Shi Kahr medical and healer conferred together was a product of the shared Ponn Farr, which came at a most inopportune time. It was something that could not be prevented and the outcome is inevitable. 

Having been told the prognosis, Sarek pulled what strength that he had and with the help of Spock carried Amanda upstairs to their private quarters. She was quiet and looked only towards her husband of 50-some years. She had a peaceful serenity knowing the end was near for her. But her only wish was to be with Sarek and to look at the sunset. He could refuse her nothing,...he sat with her watching the sunset and holding hands they conversed through their bond, which was slowly slipping away. Something that Sarek was trying desperately to prevent, but knew was hopeless. 

So they watched the sunset together, Amanda wrapped in her favorite blanket and Sarek her husband trying to somehow stop time so that he might have his wife forever. They made it through the night. Vulcan nights were cool and Amanda felt comfortable in her chaise on the balcony to stay out there as did Sarek, he wrapped in his robes sat with his wife reminiscing about their life together, how they met and how much they had taught each other. That love, no matter what form it took or how it was expressed was the most important thing, emotion, whatever their definition it represented, it was the most important thing in a relationship and that sharing that love was also important, which is why she wanted so desperately to share what they had with Suzanne. Suzanne had a loveless marriage, a man who cared nothing for her, but for his own gratification, a man in Sarek’s estimation should never have married. But as Amanda pointed out in the darkness of the night, marriage for him was his protection in a way, it gave him license to cavort around with just about anything that wore a skirt that was at least 25 years old and above. Harold Moore had no respect for his wife or for himself. That is why she wanted to show her best friend that not all men are “lying sacks” as Suzanne was fond of saying when describing her late husband. That above all the love whether it be physical or spiritual, you first have to love and respect yourself, something that Sarek had taught Amanda early on. 

“She’s out on the balcony now, my husband,” said Amanda with a raspy and tired voice. “I know at some point in time, maybe not now, but later on you will court her and I want you to know it is alright. I could not think of anyone who would be more suited for you.” 

“Amanda,...” Sarek was at a loss of words. He could feel the bond slowly slipping from him and although it isn’t physically hurting, just knowing it was happening, that what was so strong and vibrant is barely there and what is still left is unraveling because Amanda’s life force is leaving her,....it was too much of a burden. 

“Beloved, will you hold me one more time? The dawn is coming and it is just a beautiful as the sunset.”

Again,...Sarek could not refuse her. He picked up her frail body and laid on the chaise with her in his lap, both touching each other, tears forming in both sets of eyes. 

“I do not wish to leave thee, Sarek of Vulcan, but I fear my time has come,” she said with nothing but love in her eyes, “Just watch the dawn my beloved. Watch it with me and know that my life will continue on a different plane and,....know this.” She took his face and turned it towards her, Taluhk nash-veh k‘dular.”

“I love you, my Beloved wife. I always shall,” answered Sarek, his eyes blurred from the tears that were free flowing down his face. He turned and watched the dawn come and with a gasp and then a cry out the bond of 50 plus years slipped from his mind leaving nothing but grief and sorrow for its previous owner. He held his now dead wife in his arms as he sobbed for the loss. Spock who had been monitoring his father came into the bedroom and out onto the balcony and observed his father sobbing over the loss of his wife, his mother. Spock allowed himself to feel the pain of loss and found he could not quite bring himself to grieve. It would come later for himself he counseled. But he did feel the loss of his father’s and his overwhelming sorrow and wanted to help his father in some way, but did not know if help would be accepted. They were all they had and now with his own bondmate,...he was about to turn around and leave when Sarek who felt his son enter the room, pulled himself together and spoke.

“My son, your mother is gone. She who was my wife breathes no more. Would you go and tell Suzanne what has happened? I need,...just a little more time with your mother.” Spock nodded his head and called the healer and Soren to come to Sarek. He walked to the guest quarters and was met by Suzanne at the doorway.

“She’s gone isn’t she,” Suzanne said with a sad face. “Tushah nash-veh k’odu.” 

“Thank you, Dr. Moore. May I asked how did you know?” Suzanne smiled a sad smile. 

“I was out on the balcony keeping watch over them discreetly. I knew Sarek was aware of me on the balcony,...I heard him gasp and cry out as the bond left him. I heard his sobs I left the balcony and had my own cry. She saw me through some horrible times just by extending the hand of friendship and now I am extending the same as a grief counselor, if you or anyone needs to talk, although if I recall my Vulcan studies, you have your own ways of grieving, which are very beneficial to your species. I’m sorry if I sound so clinical, it is my way of masking my profound sorrow of having lost the closest friend I have.”


	5. Chapter 5

The funeral service was brief. Not many of Sarek’s family attended, just those who actually warmed up to the earth woman who was Vulcan by choice. Amanda had a brother who came and made use of Dr. Moore’s counselling. Honestly, he couldn’t understand why Amanda made the choice she did all those years ago, to move to a planet where people did not like her much try to know her. He ranted on for some time, and asked the Doctor why she made the choice to come here? Dr. Moore simply said because she loved him completely, and thoroughly. She was head over heels, crazy for someone who would move mountains for her, bring down governments if she wanted him to. She had to point out, that he was crazy for her as well. She knew that because of the care he gave to her in her last days. She was a witness to that. Her brother still couldn’t understand and for right now, his mind was still grieving and he left. 

They had a traditional “wake” in the house,... very human. Admiral Kirk, Dr. McCoy, and the old senior staff of the Enterprise made a special visit having met Amanda and Sarek on many diplomatic missions, with the Enterprise serving as “taxi” to the various conference sites. Normally, they didn’t take on passengers, but were always happy to have these two, the parents of Spock. 

McCoy, now head of Starfleet Medical, caught up with Dr. Moore as she was serving as impromptu grief counselor. He took her aside and spoke with her.

“You sure I can’t convince you to come to Medical and head up the Psychology Department. What you’re doing here is terrific, Suzie and I need you to head up a teaching program for this type of counselling.”  
Suzanne looked at Leonard McCoy. Here was a man that could make a pitch for Medical, offer her a job and flirt,...all in one to two sentences. She rolled her eyes and sipped the drink he gave to her. Just then, Sarek came into the room and to Suzanne’s side. 

“Ah, Sarek,” she said smiling. “How are you,” she asked softly.

“I am well. It is a difficult day, but nonetheless I am faring well. I see the good doctor has been making job offers to you as well. It is a rather prestigious offer.” Suzanne smiled and agreed it was good offer, but she wasn’t interested, preferring to stay where she is in Starfleet. Sarek stayed with Suzanne for a little bit, offering her wine from the vineyard and talking with her, introducing her as Amanda’s close friend and colleague at university days when she was a professor there. His Vulcan relatives approved. Finally, they made a full circle to the Enterprise crew.

“Leonard, when are you going back to earth, or are you.” McCoy put his drink down.

“We leave tomorrow, early. Need a lift?”  
“If it isn’t too much trouble, I need to get back to my classes and there is other work to be done.”

“Darlin’ it’s no trouble at all,” he paused to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll just go let the admiral know.” McCoy walked away to let Kirk know they were taking on one passenger, which Jim was fine with and gave his approval by toasting the doctor. 

She and Sarek once again moved off to a quiet portion of the house. She sensed he wanted to say something to her, but wanted to do it privately. She decided to break the silence.

“You don’t like Dr. McCoy talking with me, flirting with me,...”

“Yes, and I know I don’t have the right to object. It is too soon, a reaction you would call it to Amanda’s passing. I am going to miss her.” His posture suddenly slumped as being so very weary of the past days. 

“Sarek, “ she went to touch his hands and he instinctively put them behind his back. “No, you started conversing this way, let’s not stop.” He put his hand out and she put her hand into his. The electricity or energy she felt could only be described as someone who didn’t want to be alone and also wanted very much for her to stay. 

“Sarek, first off do not think of Dr. McCoy as your competition. There is no competition,...because there is no contest.” She let him think on that for a minute and then they both felt the most interesting feeling. Suzanne stopped holding his hand and he just said “fascinating.”

“Suzanne are you telepathic? Do you have Psy abilities? You should have yourself tested. Having these abilities can be a great help in teaching. I could give you a hint if you were,....if you would allow it.”

There it was again, touching her Psy points, but he was trying to be helpful and she was leaving tomorrow morning,...what could it hurt. 

“Alright Sarek, you may proceed.” He motioned for her to sit down and he sat next to her. He found her points easily and instead of initiating a meld, he just slipped in, quite easily into her mind to have a quick look. He found her mind to be highly ordered, like Amanda’s but there were colors and music all around. He thought to himself he could have listened and watched the colors and hues change like a kaleidoscope background of her very organized mind. He just whispered “beautiful,” when he heard her panicked cry of stop! He disengaged his probe and looked with deep concern.

“What is wrong?” How have I wronged thee?” 

 

“I don’t know,...it was what I saw. It was,...Amanda motioning me to come closer, to become one. Why did you do that.” 

“I swear to you, I did nothing. I saw in your mind colors and hues of Vulcan, the sunsets I presumed and music all around, as if playing in the background of your highly organized and ordered mind and very psy enabled. I confess I could have stayed there all day watching your colors change with the music, like a kaleidoscope. It was quite beautiful. But I did nothing else. Not without your permission. Please,....do not think ill of me.”

“I don’t Sarek, I just didn’t understand what was happening. But I think I will go upstairs now and pack. The good doctor said they would call for me early.”

“5:30 am according to earth time. It will still be dark out. The doctor will come and get you,” said Spock.

“Then this is goodbye, Sarek.”

“So it would seem. Please have yourself thoroughly tested. A telepathic human is a rarity and as I said you would be able to use that ability for teaching and….other things.”

“I will Sarek.” She suddenly felt his desire to want to hug her, but he rejected the idea as too forward. She was also watching his eyes tear up. //Here it comes,// she thought. //Here comes the wall and he’s crashing into it.//

“I will take care of him, Doctor,” said Spock. “You go up and pack and get some rest. The doctor is known for his punctuality.”

“Aye, Captain.” She turned and left. Sarek collapsed in the chair and started to weep. Spock just closed the door to that room and proceeded to help his father through a tough time. Suzanne started up the stairs, but ran into Christine looking for Spock.

“He’s in there. Sarek hit the wall and he started to weep.” Christine looked at the door and decided to talk a little bit with the doctor. 

“Tell me Christine, where will you live now.”

“Oh here. Spock is taking over Sarek’s duties for now while he takes time to grieve. I said to him to take all the time he needs and he will. While Spock is away on diplomatic missions, I will stay here and help Sarek put his life back together. I used to work with him on all his missions when Amanda was too ill to come, but sometimes she would be there when she felt good. Then they were like two lovebirds. It was really sweet to see.” 

“See if you can get him to talk about her. I know Vulcans are very private, but maybe since you are his daughter, and former colleague, he may come and talk. By the way, did Amanda give you an envelope to be read after she’s gone?”

“Do yourself a favor? Open it when you’re on the Admiral’s yacht and you have a moment alone. That’s all I’ll say, except goodnight.” Suzanne looked at this woman who walked into the library where Spock was working on his father. She liked her very much. Very much down to earth and blunt. She liked that in a person. 

Suzanne packed what she had, and took an early night. She wanted to read what was in the envelope Amanda gave her, but she would take Christine’s advice and wait. She was probably right. Suzanne felt sleepy and since her gown was in her luggage, she just slept in the nude, and as sleep claimed her she was unaware Sarek had been watching her sleep in the doorway. 

At first, it was just a fascination with Amanda’s friend, but as their friendship grew so did his fascination. The funny thing was, Amanda knew of his fascination. She also knew his reputation as being a loyal husband. He would never stray,...most Vulcans don’t, but there are some that do and take what they call women that they prefer being with rather than their bondmates. The bondmates are for the “time” and mating, the others are for the rest. But Sarek never wanted another, he was satisfied with Amanda. She bore him an heir, and was most satisfied with him. He just had his fascination with Suzanne.

Sarek watched her sleep and still could not understand why she kept coming back to a man who cared nothing for her, who treated her like yesterday’s trash. Amanda said it was a little self loathing on her part, but why? It was not logical. He had the biggest desire to get in bed with her and hold her to him, but he would be accused of rape or worse. No, he would not disgrace his family or clan. Instead he projected a thought into her mind and then went to bed. 

Suzanne woke up to the shaking of one of the staff and said her luggage was already beamed aboard the ship. She thanked the young girl and got up, used the sonor shower, and dressed. She grabbed her duffle bag and made sure the envelope was inside it. She opened the door and saw on the floor a small box with Amanda’s writing on it with her name. She picked it up and was about to leave when she heard a door open, it was Sarek in his robe.

“I wanted to say goodbye to you again and thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Sarek. I hope to see you again.” Sarek eyebrow raised and then formed a ta’al. But before he could say anything Suzanne did the strangest thing. She embraced Sarek and held him to her. At first he wanted to push away, but he put his arms around her and sighed deeply. 

“I remember Amanda saying sometimes all one needs is a hug.” Suzanne smiled, probably the first genuine smile in a long time. 

“Yes, she did.” She looked at Sarek who looked decidedly better. “Peace,...long life to you.” 

“Live long and prosper, K’diwa. I hope we meet again.” Suzanne smiled and nodded her head and went downstairs. She realized he called her a term of affection. //Oh well, better than being called a lying sack of sh*t// She beamed up to the Admiral’s yacht and went home to earth.


	6. Chapter Six ~~~ Five Years Later.  Location:  A small classroom near the bridge of the Kobiachi Maru.

Dr. Moore looked out over her small classroom of 20 cadets, all frustrated and wanting to know,.... why?

“Good Morning Cadets. How many of you have completed at least one turn in the Kobiachi Maru?”  
She raised an eyebrow as all hands went up. “Ok, and how many of you have torn out your hair because try as you might, the computer defeats you time and time again?” The class laughs out loud. She smiles at them all. “Well, newsflash cadets,...the test is rigged against you from the very beginning. Yes, there is no winning solution to the Kobiachi Maru. It is a test of character, and how you react in stressful situations. Maneuvering your ship in the neutral zone to rescue the crew only to be surrounded by Romulan Warbirds and be blown out of space is not exactly a walk in the park. It is my job to talk to each of you individually, go over your tests and reactions and we come up with better strategies for you to think about your predicament. In other words,...just because you have a melt-down in the big chair, doesn’t mean you aren’t fit to command.”

The class went on from there. Cadets asking about Admiral Kirk’s solution, the doctor answering original thinking was his solution and that the cadets need to be encouraged to think “outside the box.” It was a good class,...for once. Normally, she had to put on her doctor’s cap and counsel them that they didn’t fail. This class wanted to learn, to better themselves, become starship captains, to become better individuals. She loved what she did. Finally, towards the end of the class, a hand was raised. 

“Yes, cadet. You have a question.”

“Begging the Doctor’s pardon, but,...are you going to be playing in the annual softball game between the professors and senior cadets?” There was laughter in the room, and Dr. Moore rolled her eyes and chuckled. 

“Doing some reconnaissance work for the cadet team?” Again laughter prevails. “You may tell your teammates, good deal on the reconnaissance by the way, that the Trash talking, offensive language, left-handed catcher and switch hitting batter of the Teacher’s team will be there with bells on.” There was a huge shout out coming from the classroom and applause. Suzanne shook her head at the class, because they knew they would be in for a good show on the playing field tomorrow. She was about to dismiss the class after telling them they would reconvene 5 days from now as this was “Federation Week and Founders Day,” all wrapped into one week packed with commemorations, banquets, concerts and the annual softball game,...the classroom door opened and in walks Admiral Kirk. Cadets come to attention, with “Admiral on the bridge.” Jim smiles his usual half-smile and dismisses the class and walks over to the desk where Dr. Moore is gathering PADDs. 

“Hey Jim, Happy Federation Week.”

“Happy Federation Week to yourself, Doctor. Heard any recent news?” She knitted her eyebrows in question and said no. “Does this thing pick up your personal comm link?” 

“Jim, of course it does.” She switched the comm unit to her personal code and a communication from the Vulcan Embassy popped up. “The Vulcan Embassy? I hope they’re coming back. That place is a ghost town. It needs life.” Jim encouraged her to open the message, which she did. Soren, Sarek’s senior aide appeared and read a press statement and then something of a personal note.

“We are pleased to announce that the Vulcan Embassy, which has been running on a skeletal staff, will now be open with full staffing and two Ambassadors to the Federation. We come to serve the Federation and Vulcan. To celebrate this momentous occasion, we have organized a dinner banquet dance. Music will be provided by a reputable dance band and cocktails will be at 6 pm."

"Cocktails? Cocktails?? Vulcans don't drink, do they?"

"No, but they now offer a nice varied assortment. Seems like they're doin' it up right." 

On a personal note, as this is sent to Dr. Suzanne Moore,...we are all looking forward to seeing you here tonight to celebrate the reunion of Terra and Vulcan,...especially a certain Ambassador of your acquaintance.” The invitation ended. There was another message, but it was marked personal. 

“It’s hard to believe that it’s been 5 years since Amanda passed. It seems like yesterday for me.”  
Kirk looked at her with a studying eye. She never once mentioned what happened on Vulcan those days leading up to Amanda’s death and why when on the yacht, she preferred to quietly read her PADDs and catch up on work. Even McCoy, whose affection and feelings for her were obvious, didn’t quite understand the need to be alone,....until she broke down and cried in his arms. He wasn’t sure if she was crying for the death of her friend or the loss of what could have been with Sarek. Yeah, he put two and two together when Spock who judged his mother’s friend as,...well as an interloper of his mother’s husband. But he knew there had to be more to it, and neither one of them were telling. Even McCoy couldn’t believe that Suzanne would try to steal Sarek from Amanda in a weakened condition. But the Vulcan society that were at the wake, condoned it and expected it. Which was why he was surprised that Suzanne asked for a ride home. Since then, Kirk and McCoy had been on and off dating her for the past 2 years, but just as friends,...at least it was for Kirk, for Leonard, it was for something more. Something she was unwilling to give.

“Well, I do believe I need to go look in my closets and find something that will be suitable and tasteful for this evening’s dance.”

“Not wearing your dress duds?” asked Jim. 

“Nup, it’s a social event and I intend to be and look social.” She said as she shut down the computer after wiping her code off the drive. She shut down the lights and as she locked the classroom door as she always did, she asked Jim was he wearing his social duds or his dress uniform. Of course, the dress uniform would make an appearance. Had it airing for two days as it was in moth balls.

“Moth balls, Jim isn’t that a bit old fashioned?” He shrugged his shoulders, leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek and said see you later. 

She left and made her way to her townhome overlooking the Academy, Command Central, and the Bay. She chose this place because of its closeness to the classroom and for a quick walk around it was great, not to mention walking to the Bay and watch commerce fly and float in. But now she was on a mission to home and to her closet. Getting to the doorway, the doorman let her in and said there was a delivery for her; he kept it for her here so that she could see it immediately. She thanked him for his thoughtfulness. It was a beautiful bouquet of Vulcan floral, which was so few and far between, but someone had done a very good job of collecting species that weren’t carnivorous and just gave off scent. And what a scent it was, sandalwood and desert smells. Her mind immediately thought back to her first Vulcan sunset and thought of its beauty. She told the doorman she would be going out later and needed a car to be brought around. He informed her that the Vulcan Embassy would be picking her up at 5:45 to take her to the banquet. She said thank you again and then went up to her apartment. 

She unlocked her door with her palm and stepped in. The place smelled a little musty, so she opened the balcony door and stepped out to look at the Bay. In the distance, she saw the Vulcan Embassy with delivery vehicles and people running around. It was good to see movement again in that area. Quite frankly, she missed the Embassy not being open and felt it was an excellent idea to come back especially this week. She looked at her flowers and put them on a table nearby and center of the space. They immediately gave off the sandalwood smelling scent, which made Suzanne extremely lonely and wishing her friend Amanda was alive and well. 

A knock on the door broke her reverie and she answered the knock with an unceremonious “come!”  
The door opened and there stood Ambassador Spock. “Oh!” she said surprised at who was at the door. “Please come in Ambassador, you honor me with your visit.” Spock walked in and the door shut he immediately gave the Ta’al in greeting, “Peace and long life to you Suzanne.” His eyes were in the crinkled state some people call the Vulcan smile. 

“It is very agreeable to see you again, Ambassador. I have missed all of you very much.”

“Indeed, Suzanne. It has been five years.”

“It hardly seems that long, seems as if I was arriving at Vulcan to see your mother,...sorry, it still bothers me at times. She was a good friend.”

“As it sometimes bothers us all, Suzanne.” She motioned for Spock to sit down, which he did and gave him a glass of Altaren water, which he appreciated. “It is about Mother’s passing that I wish to speak to you about.”

“Oh?” He took another sip of water before standing up to pace. She thought //typical debate style for the unsure. Spock unsure? Not likely,// she thought.

“I wish to apologize to you for thinking you so unkind to my mother. I thought you were there to honor an ancient way of the Vulcans to become the bondmate of the male whose current mate was dying or near death. It is our way. Our relatives at the wake confirmed this notion. I was appalled. And Sarek was very open to the idea,...he still is.” This revelation surprised Suzanne. //It’s been 5 years and he still doesn’t have a new mate. He is unbonded and still thinking of me.// 

“And you’re telling me this why?”

“Because I believe you also are interested in Sarek of Vulcan. It is because of this interest that I press my suit to thee. If he should ask you, it is because his esteem and affection he has for you is still there and quite frankly, he misses you. Do not hesitate, say yes,...bond with him.”

“Is that an order, Captain Spock or a request from the Jr. Ambassador laying the groundwork for the Senior Ambassador?” Her eyes twinkled much like his mother’s did when she was teasing and he liked this.

“It is not an order, but a request from the Jr. Ambassador, who wants and needs to apologize and possibly advise you on a suitable course.”

“And that course is,...”

“Say yes, to him. You will want for nothing and will be treated like a queen.” 

“Don’t worry Spock,... He must have figured out my meaning in my saying to him all those years ago. He is ready to engage life again. It is where he should be and you have given me a lot to think about.”

“Indeed Suzanne, he wants you to be by his side.” 

“I’ve never known a family to be so positive about a match.” 

“You’ve never known a family like S’chn T’gai.” With that, Spock got up and bowed to her, reminded of the time that the car would come for her, and left. 

Once gone, Suzanne got out the blue envelope with Amanda’s letter to her, opened and read it.


	7. The Letter

My Dearest Suzanne,

If you are reading this, then I am either close to or have already passed on. My dear Suzanne, as I write this, you are upstairs getting changed into typical Vulcan clothing that I always enjoyed. The colors are for Sarek as he is a male who enjoys them. Me,...I am more subdued. Why are your colors for him? I am going to ask you to do something that you probably won’t agree with and think I have lost my mind. But I assure you,...I am quite sane. I want you to seriously consider taking Sarek as a bondmate. I have asked him the same thing regarding you and he promised me he would consider doing so, after I’m gone. Now before you crumple up this letter and call me crazy,...please read on. 

This will be a trying time for both of you and believe me, all I have ever wanted for you is your happiness. Your marriage to Harold Moore (the lying sack of sh*t), I am laughing as I use your phrase, was a sham. He never cared for you and left you bereft of love. It was my duty as your friend to help you find yourself again. It was our duty, mine and Sarek’s as you were his friend also. 

You see, Sarek has always had a fascination with you. He became interested in your career, how you pulled yourself up and while your home was pulled out from under you, you lived at the barracks. You created a lifestyle, indeed a new life where one did not exist. Sarek was most impressed by your ingenuity. What he could not understand was you going back to nurse Harold to health. He felt your sense of duty was over with as Harold betrayed you time and time again, yet you went back to take care of him. I told Sarek that even though your were betrayed, although not loyal to the man, and you had no cause to be, but you were steadfastly loyal to the vows you made to him. 

It is just so with me. It is the Vulcan way, when a mate is no longer able to fulfill her duty to her husband, the family will find another to take her place. I didn’t want him to have a Vulcan wife. I was being selfish, but a Vulcan female would not understand Sarek the way a human female can. Sarek being bonded to a Vulcan woman, would fall back into bad habits of careful neutrality and he is not a man who believes in that. He will take the chance if he knows the cause is sufficient. 

So I am asking you, if not right after my death, then soon after or even years after. You will never want for anything. He is kind and at times can be stubborn. It has not always been a love nest, but it is as close to one as I can describe. 

Please consider him and if not, then,...be his friend. He will need one. I love you both very much.

 

With undying love and gratitude,

 

Amanda.

oooOooo

She dropped the letter on the floor and got up to go to the balcony. Suzanne still had time to get dressed, but now her heart wasn’t in it. The floodgate that kept her emotions carefully guarded opened up and standing on the balcony, she cried for her own marriage, cried for her lost friend who so graciously wanted to give up the right to her happiness because she was too ill to take care of her husband, cried because now she understood what her dear friend was trying to do,...honor her husband’s values and at the same time teach Suzanne about love and selfless giving. Her friendship was a gift and quite enough, yet Amanda chose to give more,...much more.

Suzanne went into her meditation room and threw some sandalwood and spices into the pot. She inhaled the vapors and immediately went into a meditative trance. There she saw the deserts of Vulcan, and the colors as they changed as the sunset and softly she heard a voice calling to her to come. It was Sarek she heard. She saw him also meditating but in a towel. His body was still lean and he was just as handsome as he was years ago. She whispered to him “Sarek,” softly as if kissing his brow with his name and he answered her “Suzanne, come to me, beloved.” The vision faded away and then Suzanne knew what she would do. She would come to him, and if he still wanted her, she would accept him and bond with him. It was the least she could do for her dear friend and take care of Sarek as he would take care of her. It was not a question of love, it was the logical thing to do. But she also knew that love would and could come forth. She would take that chance because according to Surak, the cause is sufficient.

Suzanne looked into the pot that was still glowing and said softly, “Amanda, I will honor your request of me and if he does not want me, at least I will be his friend.”


	8. Chapter 8

Suzanne looked into the pot that was still glowing and said softly, “Amanda, I will honor your request of me and if he does not want me, at least I will be his friend.”

Suzanne took her shower, and washed her hair in sandalwood, a scent he loved. She remembered how he sniffed her hair and relished in its smell and texture. She chose her gown with care, choosing the colors of a Vulcan sunset that were vibrant and beautiful. She decided to also not wear eye makeup or facial makeup. It was a beautiful gown with a material strap on one shoulder, that reminded her of a picture of a Grecian Goddess she once saw. She put her hair instead of a french twist or just hanging loose on her back, she fashioned her hair in a soft ponytail and when she put her shawl on her head and around her as a Vulcan woman would, she was satisfied with the look. She wasn’t becoming Vulcan by choice, or Vulcan at all, she was becoming the woman she hoped Sarek wanted. She would never be Amanda, that chapter was over with. She hoped he would want, as his son had told her to write a new chapter with her at his side. For footwear, she wore flat sandals that were very comfortable and grabbed a silver bugle beaded clutch bag that she put her comm in, some credits, and of course her key. Looking at the time, she noticed that she had 3 minutes to spare and right on time, the embassy car pulled up and the driver got out and notified the doorman he was here. The doorman rang, and she came down. The driver called her T’sai immediately, which got her chuckling a little bit. 

There was a line of limousines pulling up to the Embassy, which was all lit with lights on the outside and a flag of the planet Vulcan flew proudly. Another flag flew and it was of course the Federation flag, but the one that interested Suzanne was the family crest flag of S’ chn T’ gai. All of the colors of a sunset behind the name written in glyphs. Finally the car pulled up to the main entrance and Suzanne got out of the car via the doorman. Of course, there were the usual protesters, complaining that the Vulcans were back. She shook her head and thought what idiots. They should read their history. Suzanne entered the front doors and was greeted by Soren, Sarek’s aide. 

“Peace, and long life, Dr. Moore,” said Soren with crinkled eyes. He was pleased to see her there. 

“Live long and prosper, Soren of Vulcan. It is wonderful to see you again. You are looking well.” Soren was pleased she used the proper salutation with the ta’al. He had to admit to himself and to his wife later on that Dr. Moore was aesthetically pleasing to the eye, with her gown that resembled a Vulcan gown, but the colors were vibrant. He was also in charge of getting her to where Sarek would be waiting for her while he was networking. In Sarek’s mindset, she was in need of an escort and he would fulfill that role. In the meantime, Suzanne was looking around and mentioned to Soren that they must have redesigned the Embassy from the inside out. Soren replied that she was indeed correct in that assumption. She heard music being played in the ballroom. Soren escorted Dr. Moore to the ballroom and then took his leave of her. She stood there listening to the music, and felt someone take her elbow. It was not Sarek, it was Leonard McCoy. 

“Wow!” was all he could say. He looked her up and down and said “You’re stunning.” 

“Leonard, this is the way I look for any formal event, especially the reopening of an Embassy. It looks like they redid everything to be more open and friendly towards Terrans. I like it. It has a clean, crisp, yet warm appeal, rather than the austere look from before. Whoever thought about this did a very good job. Don’t you think?” McCoy was about to answer when a familiar voice spoke up and came to her side. 

“I am glad you think so, Dr. Moore.” She didn’t have to turn to know it was Spock and Christine who was starting to show a small baby bump. 

“Ambassador Spock, T’sai Christine.” Suzanne smiled at them both and gave proper salutations while McCoy was eyeing Christine with a practiced doctor’s eye. 

“How ya feelin’, Christine.” asked McCoy. 

“Pregnant. How are you feeling, Len,” answered Christine laughing. Suzanne looked down chuckling to herself and wishing she was on the other side of the room. 

She looked up and felt another hand, a warm electrifying hand on her elbow. Suzanne shut her eyes and smiled much to McCoy’s consternation. She knew it was Sarek. 

“Come with me,” he said with a voice commanding yet softly sensual. She looked into the eyes of Spock and Christine who with a look nodded to her in the affirmative. 

“Of course, Ambassador.” She went away with him, people staring at the woman with the very available Sarek. Suzanne still wore her shawl over her head and as they walked, she let it slip down off her head, revealing her hair in the ponytail. He looked at her again with crinkled eyes. 

“It has been a long time, K’diwa. You are more lovely than when I last saw you.” 

“Was that the view of me lying in bed nude while you were at the doorway?” She smiled a secret smile knowing he would remember. Vulcans have impeccable memories, thus they never needed to take a photogenic journal. She actually laughed when she saw Sarek’s ears go a deep shade of green. //You’re embarrassed my dear Ambassador?// He looked over at her.

“You are very telepathic. You had yourself tested?” 

“Yes, I am as they say, “off the charts.” Sarek, why are we in the middle of an empty dance floor?” He looked over to the conductor and nodded and a modern rendition of “The Song of India” started. He took her into his arms and asked:

“Do you dance?” 

“Do You?! I thought Vulcans don’t dance.”  
He shrugged his shoulders and said “not normally, but I have been designated as senior Ambassador to open the dancing and I choose to dance with you. It is either you or my daughter and she is pregnant. Besides, the press is here and we need to give them something to talk about.” Suzanne opened and closed her mouth and then smiled her best sparkly smile and the two of them started dancing, followed by the rest of those who danced. The floor was packed, McCoy found someone to dance with, although he wanted to dance with Suzanne. Sarek was a very good dancer. His lead was well,... excellent and as they danced around the floor he always looked at Suzanne and held her close. They made their way around the floor and Sarek with a special move twirled Suzanne out of the room and out to the garden. 

“Come with me, K’diwa. I want to show you something and talk to you.” Now Suzanne was all for an adventure. She felt like however, she was at the prom and having ditched her date, she ran away with the guy she wanted to be with. Sarek turned around and asked “what is a prom?” Suzanne laughed out loud.

“It is a dance that humans, young humans who are in secondary school have. It is a rite of spring in a way. The girls are asked to the prom by hopefully the guy they wanted to be asked by and usually they are, except for a few who longed to be with someone else, so they went to the dance with someone, ditched them and met up with the person they wanted to be with.”

“I see,...and you never “ditched” your companion.” 

“This was the first time.” He looked at Suzanne with a question in his eyes.

“You did not wish to be with McCoy?” Suzanne smiled and touched his face as they took a back stairway up to the second floor.

“No,” she said softly. “I wanted to be with you. I was looking for you and found you talking with other diplomats and was trying to make my way to you, but McCoy intercepted me.”

“So you wanted to be with me.”

“Yes,” she said not understanding his meaning.

“Just for dancing?” he questioned.

“ Is that all you do?” He knew she was what Amanda called flirting and while it is very nice, he wanted to cut to the chase.

“I think you know I am capable of many activities. Why are you teasing me?” She saw his eyes wavered from being cross to being honestly confused. She decided to answer him honestly.

“Sarek, I think I”m a little scared,...not scared,...perhaps apprehensive? You have been on my mind for five years. There isn’t a day that I haven’t thought about you, where you are, what you’ve been doing,.....”she swallowed hard with this next answer,...”if you had found a bondmate.” At that answer Sarek turned to her and took her hand, put it in his and covered it with his other hand. They started to talk this way on Vulcan, he could not see why they should discontinue. 

//I too have thought of thee everyday for five years, wondering if you remembered me, if you would change your mind. I need you Suzanne. I miss your companionship, your loyalty, your,...your caring. Could you care for me,...as you cared for Amanda?// She sighed and smiled slightly at Sarek. She projected back to him.

//What if I care for you more than how I cared for Amanda. What if all I wish to do or would want you to do is to,....touch me with your mind and your body?// He closed his eyes and then pulled her into him. With his arm now around her waist he hugged her, and inhaled the scent in her hair. He called her K’diwa. He tilted her head up and asked her “will you bond with me, become my wife, my aduna? I will not take no for an answer.”

“I’m not going to give you no for an answer. Yes, Sarek I will bond with you.” His grip around her waist became tighter and he settled his lips on hers. Softly at first, he slowly increased the intensity with his tongue demanding entrance into her mouth. She moaned softly, clinging to him hoping she wouldn’t fall or faint. He broke the kiss and then slowly with two fingers, stroked the side of her face where her psy points are and had to catch her the intensity of what she was feeling was almost too much. 

“You have no idea what it is like to be cherished by a Vulcan,” he said softly to her. “The reason we control our emotions is because they are so intense, so strong. They can be overwhelming to some. Are you alright, K’diwa?” He was holding her tight he was close to her ear nuzzling her ever so slightly, she wanted to do something she just had a desire to do, she just whispered his name softly, into his ear and kissed his earlobe.  
“Sarek,” she whispered. She longed to touch him, but settled for kissing him on the lips again. She broke the kiss and she heard him sigh.

“ I truly would like not to go back to the festivities downstairs. I want to take you to bed and bond with you now.” Suzanne smiled a smile that would light the room.

“I think that’s an excellent idea. Hold on just a minute.” She pulled out of her small bag her comm unit.

“Spock, how’s it going downstairs?” 

“Ahhh, Dr. Moore. I trust you are with my father? 

“I am. Everything alright?”

“Everything is running smoothly, a couple of people asked after Sarek, but I didn’t think he wanted to have a conversation with two Deltan women.” Suzanne looked over at Sarek who was turning green,...literally with embarrassment.  
“Spock, TMI. While I have you on the line, can you affect a sight to sight transport from here to my apartment for two?”

“I can,... will I be calling you mother when I see you again?”

“No, but you can always call me Suzanne. Two for sight to sight transport to my apartment.”

“Very good, Suzanne and congratulations to you both, it is about time.”


	9. Chapter 9

Sarek could feel the slight tickling sensation of the transport beam as they materialized into Suzanne’s apartment. Once fully solid, he grabbed her and kissed her aggressively, pushing her up against a wall. At first, he felt her fear of his aggressiveness, and then felt Suzanne calm herself and replace fear with desire and curiosity. //Fascinating,// he thought. He put more controls up to tone down his feelings; he didn’t wish to make her afraid of him. His wife should never be afraid of him, or rather wife-to-be. 

“I regret the fear I placed in your heart, Suzanne; that was not my intention.” He looked at her with eyes that sought only to understand her. He backed away and let her breathe, but she grabbed his arms and pulled him back. She began to caress the backs of his ears, an erogenous zone for Vulcans and he moaned with delight.

“How is it you seem to know where to touch me,...to elicit a primal urge to mate?” Suzanne chuckled.

“Instinct, Sarek. It just seemed the right thing to do. Just like there are places on a woman’s body that will elicit the same response, places,...” she stopped as she placed his hand on her breast, “ places that cry out to be touched, kissed, invaded.” Her hands went up to his face and she placed a kiss on his lips as he caressed her full breast. She could feel a bulge starting below and she reveled in that knowledge,...that she could make him desire her. 

But he desired her long before Amanda died. It was, he thought his secret that he would never reveal to his wife, that she somehow figured out as she got progressively sicker, weaker. She may have been sick, but Amanda wasn’t stupid and instead of being angry and sending Suzanne away, she welcomed her friend to her home in the hopes that Sarek would find a way to satisfy his needs. But he remained steadfastly loyal to his wife. Instead he buried himself in his work, his missions. He could have taken up a peculiar habit of keeping a mistress, but he would have none of that, even though many Vulcan males did so in the same circumstances he had found himself in. Some even went to stranger extremes, that he would not think of. But this woman kept coming to see Amanda and he kept having an infatuation about her. Now she was about to become his. //Fantasy becoming reality? That is not logical.// he thought. Vulcans do not have fantasies, but his human wife,...that was a different story.

“Sarek what do we do in order to bond?” Suzanne asked only remembering the formal ceremony of bonding she witnessed between Spock and Christine. Sarek’s mind became crystal clear again and moved back from Suzanne and began to explain as she led him to her bedroom. 

“First off, are you sure this is what you want? Do you know the commitment you are making is permanent and once we are bonded, it cannot be broken.”

“Yes, I know that, and yes, I know that every 7 years give or take a month, you go into Pon Farr. You did so the day I came to Vulcan,...a little prematurely, but nonetheless there you were. I know that once bonded, I too will feel your plak tow, but will not be driven to the extreme without logic to mate. I can control your drive somewhat through the bond, to make it quite a pleasurable experience for both you and I. But it is in order to save your life, to keep you alive and going. I know all this because when I was tested for Psy abilities I decided to contact the VMA here on earth. The healers and scientists were very kind and extremely generous in their explanations as they saw you in my mind and saw the feelings I had for you. They said when and if I should bond with you, you could show me how to shield and protect my private thoughts. Actually, I was the talk of the Psychology Dept. there. This was their first time in contact with a human who is very telepathic. They also took my DNA in an effort to see if I am a hundred percent Terran. Some of them think not, but I don’t know,...all I know is that I understand the commitment and wish to honor it with you and for Amanda’s request.”

She began to undo his robes and to let them fall to the floor except she caught them and folded them neatly against a chair she had in her bedroom. He was naked from the waist up and Suzanne saw the body she saw in her vision. She was amazed and delighted at how strong and quite masculine with the makings of a 6 pack. His trousers were becoming a little tight,...that was because of the bulge that was now protruding through. She boldly put her hand on him there, which made him moan and a half smile came to his lips. 

“Shall we make love first or bond?” she asked.

“Both. Come here, K’diwa.” He sat her down with him next to her and found her psy points, but put her hand on his side of his face and placed her fingers on his. Then he found hers and immediately there was a connection between the two of them. He began to recite the ancient bonding ritual and slowly but surely like a thread in a needle, wove the pattern of their minds together in a beautiful tapestry of color, music, logic. She began to chant with him, although not knowing the words, but knowing them through him and his traditions. She saw his childhood, his first wife, his son Sybok, then his bonding to Amanda, the resistance he fought in his family because he took a human bride. The hard pregnancy and birth of their son Spock. She saw everything, including the last moment of Amanda’s life and the loss of that bond. He was lonely. She also saw his fascination with her, which eventually became a longing and how he did nothing about it until coming back to earth to reopen the Embassy and find her.

He on the other hand, also saw her childhood and life growing up, meeting Harold Moore, who swept her off her feet, only to cruelly use her and then just keep her around as a prize, while he cheated with other women. Her self-loathing, thinking something was wrong with her when in fact there was nothing wrong. He left her, her house was seized by a mortgage company. She was literally on the street without a home, so she got a room at the barracks at Starfleet and lived there while she went back to school to become a psychologist. She was not there when Harold died, she didn’t want to be. She almost filed for divorce, but found out Harold never changed his will. He left it all to her and all was settled, still had a bit of credits to her name. She bought this town-home, she made a name for herself all the while enjoying the friendship of Amanda and himself. He also saw that watching him in this bonding fired up her desire for him in a thrice. He was pleased. 

Before she realized it, Sarek had already taken his hand down from her face and took hers and kissed her fingers. She could feel not only her emotions, but what he felt as well. 

“Oh!” she cried looking at him. 

//Sarek! Is that you?//

//Yes, th’y’la, it is I. I am in your mind and you are in mine. You will feel everything I feel and the same for me. This is how Vulcans cherish each other.// He began to take her gown off of her and let it drop and puddle to the floor. She stood there with just underwear on and he slowly took it off to reveal her naked body. 

“Suzanne,...you are indeed more beautiful than I remembered seeing you on that night 5 years ago. I wanted to claim you then, but dared not because you might not understand.” She undid his pants and they dropped to the floor showing him completely naked and ready. 

“I understand now, Sarek. Would you claim me now?”

“As you wish, beloved.” He grabbed her and held her as he slowly made his way down her neck to the base of her collarbone and down toward her breast, nipping and softly biting her until he found the perfect place and sunk his teeth into her flesh, not breaking her skin but just enough to make her cry out in joy and desire for him. They fell onto her bed as she continued to moan and literally howl like an animal. She grabbed his head and in a very demanding voice and in French told him to “fuck her.” He raised an eyebrow and smiled that very sexy half smile of his and pushed into her with his throbbing lok. He did as he was requested to do and took her aggressively, giving her pleasure she had not felt,...since,...she couldn’t remember. But ohhh this was so sweet. He tasted every part of her and knew he would never get enough of her. And as he came inside her, all he could think of was how fortunate he was to have found her. A friend first, then a fascination, and finally his wife, his aduna. No one would take her away from him and if they tried, they would die. He would protect her with his life. He finally admitted to himself,...he loved her. 

They made love most of the night and fell asleep exhausted. As Suzanne woke up she noticed her new husband was not in her bed, but she could smell the aroma of hot tea. She heard Sarek walking back into her bedroom with his robes on and sitting on the bed handed her a cup of tea.

“Good Morning, my wife.” She sipped the tea, which was a Vulcan blend that she had and using the bond she answered.

//Good Morning, my husband. Have thee found me satisfying and to your expectations?//

//You have exceeded my expectations, aduna. But then,... I did not know if you would accept me.// He drank his tea.

“Why would I say no?” she asked.

“You did before.” he said casually.

“But Amanda was still alive, I was not about to help her commit suicide.” Suzanne took a long swallow of her tea.

“And I thank you for that, beloved. You showed more strength of character than I would think most Vulcan women in the same situation. 

I hope you do not mind me saying this, but I wish to live my life a little differently than being “The Vulcan,” as I am known. I want to enjoy your human side of life, to participate in the things you enjoy. I realize I will be called away from time to time for the Federation and perhaps you could join me, but I wish to spend my time at home with my wife and family. Would that be acceptable to you?”

“Sarek, that’s wonderful." She stroked his face with her hand and elicited a deep sigh from him. "I love you Sarek. I think I always have and I had guilt about it; but I think she knew all along.”

“She did. She knew about what she called “my fascination” with you. But she also knew I would do nothing about it except continue to be a friend to you. I do not believe nor do I condone the keeping of mistresses. Still it is done. You never have to fear on that score, beloved.” He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. She sipped her tea and reflected on her good fortune, then noticed the time on her clock on the nightstand. 

“Ohhhh damn,...I’ve got to go.” Suzanne jumped up and put her tea down. “I’ve got to take a quickie shower, not the kind you have in mind that would end up us,...well,...having some bodacious sex, we can save that for later I think. I’m in the annual softball game we play, between profs and senior cadets. I’m their foul-mouthed, trash talking,switch-hitting catcher, and I promise,....this is the last game. You can come, but you won’t like it. You see sometimes I get touched by other men, not because they want “that” from me it is just we hug and sometimes kiss on the cheek,....we’re a friendly group and the,....”she stopped abruptly as her husband was calmly drinking his tea with the most amused look in his eyes.

//Why are you so amused by me? I am simply trying to point out,...// //Beloved.// Sarek thought.

//I am not a young first married Vulcan, who has no idea what humans to in an athletic competition. Although I have not witnessed or know about “softball,” did I not just say to you I wished to enjoy your human side of life more? K’diwa, I know there are some parts of your life I may not understand, but I wish to.// He got up and put his arms around her and hugged her, and then touched his forehead to hers as a sign of affection.

“Come, take your shower, do you have a uniform you wear? Promise me we will have bodacious sex in the shower later on.” He smiled a smile that he decided he would only smile for her.

“You’re such a negotiator, Ambassador.” She kissed him on the lips.

“When there is a prize to be won,... I am the best negotiator.” He kissed her on the lips. She moaned slightly.


	10. Chapter 10

Softball was invented in the late 19th Century on Thanksgiving Day, another tradition Sarek wanted to experience,.....minus the eating of meat. While waiting for Suzanne, he decided to make use of her meditation room, something she has been doing since the healers at the VSA recommended to her as a way of centering herself. Her incense was similar to his own and after throwing some into the warm pot if flared alive with scent of sandalwood and other familiar odors and he knelt down and began to meditate. He saw his new wife and he saw Amanda coming towards him holding hands as they came. Nothing was said, they knelt on either side facing Sarek and he held his hands out. Was it like this with all mates who passed on and with the new mate? He never knew of anyone who would be willing to talk about a similar situation. To most, it would be illogical to have this relationship with past and present mate, but he reasoned the cause was sufficient for this to be so, for a time. He reasoned that there was still a portion of Amanda that was retained in his mind, in one of his private annexes of his mind. He pondered this for awhile and then looked to Amanda and thought to her

//I will always love you, but now I have a new mate, the one you chose for me. I thank you Amanda.//

//I will always cherish you my love, be happy with your new wife and learn about humans. What I taught you was one chapter, there are many more to read and to write. But most importantly, find it in your heart to love Suzanne as she loves you,....//

He then turned to Suzanne who smiled and just whispered his name //Sarek.//

//Beloved,...I cherish thee.// 

Sarek let go of Amanda’s hand as she went back to the private recesses of his mind and he took Suzanne to himself and they became one and the same, something that did not happen with Amanda due to her not being telepathic. This, he reasoned would be a closer bond than he has ever experienced, even closer than T’Rea and she was a full Vulcan. 

He came out of meditation to see Suzanne was also kneeling there with him, not in meditation but waiting. He studied her as she waited. Amanda would not have come into his meditation room, but then,...this was not his room.  
“All that I have is yours, Sarek, so this is,... in a way and as long as I have title to this place, is yours. I’m just waiting to say good-bye, because I have to leave,...the game?”

“Of course.” He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek and she playfully turned her face so that she would receive his lips, which at first he was surprised at, and then leaned in for a longer kiss. “My wife, you like to trick me.” He grabbed her, pushed her down on the floor and climbed on her to kiss her again. He was smiling and laughing and Suzanne was looking at him in amazement.

“I had no idea,....you laugh and that’s full smile.” He schooled himself and again had his face of serenity, but with eyes twinkling. 

“This is a side you will only see, it will be our secret. I cannot let my enemies, those that do not want the Federation to succeed to find out their chief negotiator, a Vulcan known for great mental discipline, has a playful side.” She kissed him softly and he rolled off of her, got up and held his hand out so she might get up.

“I am going to be so late. Will you come and watch my performance for my fans.?” Intrigued by her invitation, he said he would come later. He kissed her and said to be well. Suzanne turned and walked out the door and down the elevator to the street. The doorman, who was used to having the owners come and go as they please at night, never expected Dr. Moore to come out, winking at him and said “beautiful morning.” 

She dashed off to the playing field at the Academy, where both teams were warming up. There was a good crowd gathered to the annual event. When they saw Suzanne coming with her cleats still wrapped around her shoulders, people were saying she overslept and who did she oversleep with? She heard the teasing and said she wasn’t tellin’. But when the Vulcan Ambassador walked up with his son and Admiral Kirk and McCoy, the cadets took notice. Sarek watched as his wife sat on the ground stretching and warming up, getting mildly desirous of her body. Suzanne put her cleats on and was chatting with the coaches and discussing their strategies for winning the game. She then donned her protective covering and got behind the plate for a few practice catches with the pitcher. Things were good, then she decided to throw a pitch to 2nd base, which she executed well,...except her arm hurt her just a tad. She winced in pain, McCoy saw it and came out to give her first aid. 

“Did you throw your arm out?” he asked as he took medical tricorder readings. 

“I think I might have. Can you fix it maybe?” 

“Sure I can,” he said as he got out one of his medical tools. “You’re with Sarek now aren’t you,” he stated as he continued to work on her shoulder. 

“Yes.” 

“Are you happy?” he asked as he rubbed her shoulder to get circulation going again. “So far, so good, Len.”  
“Good,” he said. “Try your arm now.”  
“Oh, that’s much better, thank you Doctor.” They both heard the umpire yell play ball. “Wish me luck, Doctor.” 

“You’ve never needed any luck, Suzanne.” McCoy shut his medkit and wandered back to the stands and reported that she pulled her shoulder out, but she should be ok for the game. Spock was watching his father react to the news and was surprised he did not react, but held his hands together. It was commendable. Admiral Kirk in the meantime was explaining the game to Sarek so that he might understand. 

It was a well played game, with everyone on the field and in the stands having an interesting time,...that is when they weren’t watching the Vulcans. Sarek was interested in the game. He enjoyed watching Suzanne playing her position and throwing the cadets off their mark with some illogical remark. Then when it was the Professor’s up at bat, he got to watch Suzanne play what Jim said was “hard ball” tactics on the cadets, by switch hitting and placing the hit right where she wanted it. All in all, the game was hard fought, but the Professors ruled the day by winning 11 to 8. Another stunning game,...and her last. 

She walked over to the men who were watching and after congratulating her, stepped up to the Ambassador she smiled at him. He offered his two fingers and she took them.

“Did you enjoy the game?” she asked.

“Admiral Kirk was most efficient in explaining the game to me. I thought you played very satisfactorily” She chuckled and said “shall we go back to the apartment or back to the Embassy.”

“Are you hungry, th’y’la?”

“Not for food,...”she answered. He looked at her and said “I concur. Let us go back to the apartment.” So with her cleats in hand, the two of them walked off and away from the crowd, pausing to press foreheads together, and then continue back to the apartment, chatting talking about the game and the games they would play later on.


	11. Chapter 11

Spock, Kirk and McCoy watched the couple move off and walk back towards the the hi rise where Suzanne lived. Spock watched and raised an eyebrow just as he turned to Kirk.

“Your father seems different to you Spock?” asked Kirk as he continued to watch the couple move off. They heard her laughter in the distance and Spock once again raised an eyebrow.

“He is the most centered and content that I have ever seen him in a long time I believe my mother’s illness was a great trial to him,...he has found serenity again in Suzanne,...a worthy mate.”

“A mate,” questioned Kirk.

“Yes, Jim. They agreed to become one last night and came to her apartment in the middle of the festivities. They decided to honor my mother’s last request of them and followed Vulcan tradition.”

“You mean they bonded with one another?, said McCoy.

“I believe I just said that, Doctor. More than betrothed, married according to Vulcan law and traditions, yet they will have a small ceremony to make it legal here on earth and recognized in the Federation as a marriage.”

“Well, guess another one goes off the market, Bones,” said Kirk with his half smile. “Well, I’m heading towards the BBQ for some food and wine, care to join me,” Kirk asked both Spock and McCoy. Spock bowed out stating there was some work that needed to get done and his wife was calling for him as she wasn’t feeling too well this day with the pregnancy. McCoy agreed to go and so while Spock transported back to the Embassy, the two men walked over to the Academy building, just in time to sit down to and old fashioned BBQ and some wine. There they found some of the old crew sitting there as well telling stories of days gone by and of where the Federation was heading. An afternoon filled with old friends and making of new ones. 

Meanwhile back in the apartment, two naked forms in the bathtub soaking away, enjoying the touch and sensual needs of each other as Sarek bathed his wife and proceeded to massage any aches and pains of today’s game away. Suzanne just sat in the tub, with her back up against Sarek’s chest sighing endlessly as he washed her arms and kissed the back of her neck. 

“Sarek, I could stay in this tub with you for the rest of the day.”

“I could arrange that for you, except I would not get any work done and the Vulcan High Council not to mention the Federation would not be satisfied.” Suzanne giggled and decided it was time to get out of the tub, so she and Sarek got up and got out with big thick towels waiting for them. He dried her off and then brushed her hair out, something that Suzanne loved. Then he brought her to the balcony table, where they both in robes sat and had a nice repast of fruit, nuts and salad while watching the Bay. 

“Sarek, will we always be as content as we are now?” 

“No, there will be debates, disagreements, but let us make this promise now,...that we never go to bed unfulfilled and ready to continue the debate. It is usually for illogical reasons and we can always talk out whatever it is we don’t understand.” She smiled and then threw a cherry tomato up in the air and caught it with her mouth and chewed. 

“Good answer, Sarek. Did you like my trick with the tomato?” He nodded his head.

“I have to say,...I am very clever with my mouth,” she said giving him a look. His eyes started to darken.

“How clever would you say you are, “said Sarek, knowing where this conversation was going.  
“Oh, I’m very clever,...yeah, and my tongue is absolutely double-jointed I think.” Sarek’s eyes were almost black with desire. They got up from the table and moved into apartment with the dishes. Sarek took them from her and set them down on her coffee table in the living room and then pulled her to him. 

“I wish to experience your mouth on me.” 

“Oh, I don’t know Sarek,” She got out of his grasp and walked or rather swayed her hips provocatively as she moved away,...”you have to catch me first.” That did it for Sarek, he leaped over a couch and caught up with her and then pushed her into the bedroom and as she laughed loudly, he slammed the door and kissed her passionately as she groaned and kissed him back, telling him she loved him so and fell into bed with him and then proceeded to show him just how talented her mouth is. 

PS. He also showed just how talented his mouth is,....and not by making speeches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They both learned about love and compassion, that love no matter how it is expressed is, in my humble opinion is the most important emotion to experience. To reach the logical conclusion that having love for someone, whether they can express it like ourselves or the controlled expression of it by a Vulcan, is truly a gift,...to be experienced and that is what Amanda wanted both her best friend and her Beloved husband to have for each other, as well as for Sarek to remember his memories of her.


End file.
